Random Musings of a Dreamer

I've launched

http://ljkong.com/blog/

still a lot to do but I gather if I don't launch sometime soon, it's never going to happen. Sometimes the house will undergo renovations whilst you're living in it.

Anyhoo, it's been an awesome ride guys, Most of you I've added on google reader so I'll still be following and for the forseeable future, I might keep this blog going so I can still keep up with LJ Communities.

but in the meantime, please update your links.

so yes I lied, the move to the new site may take a while as i find the energy to actually code word press properly. Currently my weekends have been spent in a dumb stupor of trying to relax but not really suceeding.

Today I went to chatswood for 1.5 hrs, received a haircut and managed to max out my credit card buying a Canon DSLR. Something I've wanted to do for sometime, but camera body wasn't in stock so I'll hopefully pick it up later in the week. Which is fine because I doubt I'm going to do anything until next weekend anyway.

4 weeks of work....30min of spending 0 dollars saved. SHIT!!!

Must stop accumulating debts.

so currently I'm walking the 9-5 cliche. My life is pretty mundane, very routine and I'm still finding it hard to get up in the morning. Somedays I'm really over it,and I'm thinking, shit if the highlight of my day was riding the elevator with Chris Taylor of the Chaser fame then perhaps my life needs re-evaluation...and it's only the start of week 3 folks.

But I guess if I was ever going to work fulltime, this job is a bloody good start.

Anyway, the real point of this post was a mini-announcement about the future of this blog. I've been posting less and less the last few months, simply because there wasn't anything to post, I wasn't bitching about things left right and centre. In the past few weeks however I've been trying to get a new self-hosted wordpress blog up and running. The premiere will still be weeks away but at this moment I'd like to give you guys some stats.

In the past 4 years of this blog, I have written 445 posts, given and received around 1700 comments. It's been a great ride, and this blog and all of you have kept me company through the good times and the bad and most importantly through the thick of University.

But as I have started a new chapter in my life, my blogging also is bound to start anew. I've archived this blog the past couple of days, it's contents will be with me for life. Although it'll still be good for a few more posts, I'll be hopefully making a full transition to my new site in the next couple of months. I hope you will all follow me on this new journey like you have done with this blog.

peace out

I was thinking yesterday, if I buy something online and the package ends up at the post office and I get a note to collect it...how the hell am I meant to collect it if I'm to leave home at 8am and get back at 6:10pm. And the Post office is only open 9-5 and doesn't open saturdays....like WTF???? Am I going to have to curb my internet shopping to small packages?

so yes, it's sad that's all I'm think about at the moment. My body has still not adjusted to sitting around for 8 hours a day. I'm sure it will. But I keep thinking, there has to be a more productive and healthy way of making money. But hey it's an awesome position, everyone around is awesomely nice but I wish I'd heeded those warnings about enjoying my time as an unemployed uni student more.

so to all those still in uni

enjoy it...

P.S I actually bought some webspace and a domain name late last year. It was meant for my showreel/portfolio but now that I actually have work I'm looking to use it as an officialised blog. Does anyone have suggestions for good independent blog engines?

yeah i'm still here folks, bumming around, bored out of my mind, with not enough money to go shopping. Updates...

- slumdog millionaire won a load of oscars...WOOHOO...It's one of the best films I've seen. I think along with Benjamin Button and Milk, 2008 had one of the strongest best film comps in years.

- I'm craving junk food ALL the time...that is bad... I'm going to have to deal with this craving.

- I found this site ... now I KNOW that I'm never ever going to have enough money in my life

- my teenage brother has stopped communicating and thus I've finally realised that my baby brother has grown up and therefore will never worship me like he did, nor hang out with me like he did...or even talk to me like he did... *WAH* It makes me sad. This is how mothers must feel when the chillun fly the coup.

- I'm going to start tennis lessons post winter

- I'm going to have to get out more, and meet new people and actually form friendships outside of my circle, as much as I love my circle, my circle is not going to provide me with a husband who will supply me with endless amounts of money to spend on the forementioned website. I hear dentists earn 150-200K straight out of uni...wow...methinks I need to befriend dentists.

- I'm thinking of ending this blog and moving to a more grown up blog on blogspot, however this is dependent on my laziness, but since I started this blog in uni and now I've finished uni, I think I should move on.

- I'm starting my first fulltime job on monday. I'm excited and scared...hope it goes well.

adios amigos

We're taught sometimes to never make things too personal, separate business from pleasure, maintain a cool exterior at all times and of course never let other people see you cry. I've been guilty of all the above at various times in my life. Although over the years I've learnt not to care about the little things, when I still do, I wear my heart on my sleeve and sometimes get burned for it. But hey, I guess that's what makes me human.

So why should I care that some dude didn't win a tennis match? Why was I absolutely distraught after and during the match? I can't really explain why I cared so much, I definitely never cared this much in the past, so why now? I guess because I'm a student of history, of records and of the beauty of finesse. I value emotional attachments above all else, because it is the one thing you can't cognitively control. It's why I like Wong Kar Wai and it's why sometimes I get obsessed over certain films, artworks, shows etc which might not mean a thing to other people.

The problem with emotional investments is while the celebration of victory is all the more sweeter the pain and disappointment from loss is so much harder to bear. No longer is the cognitive part of your brain actively processing or making sense of the event but somewhere else in the central nervous system your body is basically saying "SHIT I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!".

There is a job I really really want. I received an interview and it went fairly alright I guess. I prepped for a week, really tried to cover my bases. I'm so deeply emotionally invested in the outcome, I shouldn't be but I am. Most people, mostly my parents have repeatedly warned me not to form this attachment and just go on with life, look for other positions and if I get this one I get it, if I don't no big deal. But inside I know that if I suffer this rejection there is going to be a seriously fine line between continuing on and falling apart.

Maybe I'm mentally weak, maybe I'm too human for my own good. But this is the way I was born, this is my identity, and I accept it along with the celebrations and disappointments which come with it. It's much easier to say "I don't care.", you can be pleasantly surprised and pleased when things go your way but limit the nausea of loss. However you never improve by not caring and you don't challenge yourself by not caring. By forming that emotional attachment you can truely experience the wealth of success which effort might bring. Sure it's more mentally taxing but who ever said life would be easy?

Status - finished uni, unemployed and job hunting
Relationships - none
mental health - good
physical health - good and improving - 5.5min Kilometre and aiming for City to Surf this year in under 110min
TV status - Australian Open...hmmm Federer Fashion
Vice - Internet shopping
Credit - poor
Fandom - currently none
Goals for the near future - Find a Job, find a BF, play Tennis

*WHOOT*

yes so i lied last post, i don't think I ever and will get a 2008 retro post done. Haven't been posting much at all lately because there is simply nothing to bitch about. The lack of study/work is just brilliant.

I guess it could be construed as me having no life but really I'm so awesomely content at the moment. Enjoying the sunshine, the warm weather and of course the post Xmas sales. I'm doing copious amounts of shopping...so much so that mum has given a moratorium on me buying any more T-Shirts...oh well.

I still need to visit DFO and rebel sport for some much needed new caps and running shorts and maybe swimmers so I can finally go swimming after what like 5 years?

anyhoo, hope everyone still reading this blog is well and having a wonderful holidays. If only I can be unemployed forever...and living off never-ending funds.

I'm sure the bitching will start soon enough, but in the meantime, enjoy the quiet and lack of rage from this blog.

And as a present of course some more DC pics. This one is my favourite, it just never fails to make me LMAO.

well i hope everyone had a very merry christmas. I had my fair sure of "bad for you" foods lovingly cooked by family friends and there's way too much chocolate lying around the house threatening my plans of healthy living.

Life is very content atm. Not going out that much but finding solace in boredom I guess. Boredom is quite brilliant in a way. I'm thinking of story/film ideas again.

In the meantime I've been exercising/reading/general lazying about. However one thing concerns me is that with all this sunshine I'm getting and skin which tans particularly fast and well. I know possess horrible tan lines which I tried so hard to get rid of last summer in the northern hemisphere. So my arms and my face are relatively the same shade of tanness then the rest of my body is a pasty asian white. How does one get a even tan without resorting to nude bathing/sunbeds/spray on tans? Oh the joys of summer.

I might do a 2008 retrospective in the next couple of days, but hopefully it'll be short as I think 2008 was a pretty shitty year and the faster we move onto 2009 the better.

Anyhoo, to leave with...a most badass picture of Bond...in Beijing. Methinks Shanghai needs to be a location on the next Bond film. That would be seriously badass.

I currently wallowing in a pit of self loathing at the moment. I'm not exactly sure why, it could be the following factors:

- unemployment - I'm slowly remedying this, although methinks subconsciously I would really rather remedy it in the new year.
- hermiting in the house too much
- niggling injuries (left ankle, left knee) - 2 weeks for a sprained ankle and it's still not healed? Have I hit the age wall for injuries?
- this herrondously shit Sydney weather, like WTF? I'm on a holiday, I expect fine sunny mild weather so I can read shitty Bond novels in my backyard whilst sipping lemon/lime bitters. Not this ugly wet sopping, cold and windy excuse for summer.
- The constant feeling that I'm going NOWHERE.

What is my truth people? I think I'm going to need a life coach to kick my ass pretty soon. This constant daydream state I'm in is really not conducive to making progress in my life.

--

In other news a few more short reviews of films I managed to watch:

The Kite Runner - I cried, bucketloads, but then I cried in Nights in Rodanthe. Good film, great child actors, brilliant until the 3rd act and then you realise...oh THIS IS FICTION. Should have approached this film with that in mind.

Hamlet 2 - Crazy, off the wall, light comedy. Totally inconsequential, shallow, cliched attempt at an inspirational teacher story, but Steve Coogan and Elizabeth Shue make up for it. Worth it for the Sexy Jesus musical interlude.

Up The Yangtze - A most frustrating documentary. It's not good when you watch a doco and want to slap all its subjects instead of bonding with them on their journey. Still made me regret not going to the 3 gorges before the entire dam thing started.

Road to Perdition
I watched this because Daniel Craig was in it. Yeah, so obviously it didn't appeal to me much as a film otherwise I wouldn't have waited 7 years to see it. Overall, good cinematography. Sam Mendes direction is again very poetically theatrical, albeit slow. And I really didn't care enough for Tom Hanks character, I started playing drums in the middle, got a little bored. Paul Newman is the shits and as for Craigy? Not bad.

Australia
Dear Baz,
If you'd like to sell Australia to the world, it doesn't help if you make your film look like it was shot on a bad 1950s soundstage....

Saw this today with Hannah. Look it's not THAT bad (I think Hannah might disagree with me here), but it's not that good either. It had some good moments here and there but majority of the time I was cringing too hard at the really really horrendous script. Hugh Jackman did well with what he had to work with. Nicole, was well...Nicole. And the little fella came out the best. Tour de force that one. And Baz please never come up with your own story EVER AGAIN, you do so much better when adapting other people's work. And if I ever hear another "Crikey" or a light symphonic version of Waltzing Matilda in an Australian Film, Hannah and I are resurrecting Yahoo Serious and unleashing him onto the world once more.

Australia is probably good for drinking games but then you would get drunk, very VERY quickly, however the upside to that is you won't have to remember the next 3 hours of your life.

JCVD
Watching this film made me realise how backward our industry is. I mean we get hokey shit like Australia and the frenchies/belgians get this masterpiece of meta cinema. It's a film so ridiculously self-reflexive that Umberto Eco could write a book about it and then I could write an essay about the film whilst quoting Eco.

Jean Claude Van Damme, plays himself, in a film entitled with his own initials. But wait there's more, it also includes a 4 minute long tracking action scene to start (which rivals THAT scene in Children of Men), a 6 minute monologue where Van Damme breaks the 4th wall (Which I think is possibly the most superb cinematic monologue ever, just cause come on it's the Muscles from Brussels delivering it) and Van Damme, actually you know...acting...

It's not a perfect film by any means, but it's highly original, functionally stylish, and interesting treatise on the cult of celebrity and the affect on the celebrity and most importantly at 1 hour 37min, it doesn't outstay it's welcome (ARE YOU LISTENING BAZ????). JCVD is director Mabrouk El Mechri's sophomore feature and if it's anything to go by, this guy is going to be someone to look out for in the future. Art Action at it's best and better than sitting through Australia again.

3 minutes 50 seconds left on the clock, 15-10 down. I’ve just called my time out. I have 2 injured players on the bench, 1 player fouled out and 5 solidly tired boys fighting it out on court. A few good passes results in a nice shot which fails to fall favourably. We lose possession again. Back in our half, the boys zone up, calling out the cutters. Shot after shot rebounds off the glass, my team valiantly trying to out-jump those taller and bigger.

The ball is kicked out to the three point line. The blonde opponent measures up and with a swift flick of his left wrist lets go…swish. I sink lower on the bench. This is the point in the game which coaches dread most. You know you’re meant to be defiant till the end, spur your team to keep fighting till the last second and keep up the hope of victory. But in that instant, you’re not in control of your emotions, your body just reacts. And my body reacted…it was over…18-10, game.

( further musings )

yup, so I didn't get the job I was talking about in the last post. But hey I knew that the minute I walked out of that interview. The one positive thing which I did learn is that at least I'm not delusional and I can read the right tone of human communication, which I take great solace in.

I'm not really hoping for anything before the new year. Seriously who in their right minds as employers would want new people now? You're trying cut staff in the loom of a recession. Unless they really need them of course. Everyone's tied up in pre-holiday office parties, If I was human resources, I'd dump all the applications I've received and will receive in the next 2 weeks into the lowest filing cabinet and come back to them mid-january.

Anyhoo, so what will I do in the interim? Well I said to myself that I will do NOTHING work/study related for this entire week. So I've basically veged and done nothing and slept A LOT. I've averaged at least 9-10 hours of sleep this week, usually in bed before midnight, which hasn't happened in a while, but the upside is I'm generally very very content with where I am. And also I've started reading again, which is just fabulous. I'm working my way through all of Fleming's Bond books, something which I've wanted to do since my teens but never found the time nor energy to.

The negative aspect of the Holiday season is although I want to indulge in vast amounts of retail therapy (Already started on Ebay I might add), I can't simply because prices are way too high at the moment and won't drop until the January sales. So right now I'm just compiling a list of all the shit I'd like and then spending shitloads of cash in January, and singlehandedly bringing the NSW economy out of certain recession, HA.

I have been marvelling at watches lately. Which is weird because my Dad was like yesterday, "Why the hell do you want a watch? You never where them anyway." To which I retorted. "Well it's simply because I've never had a nice watch." And then I proceeded to show him the banged up casio I got as a 'starting high school' present back in 1998. So anyway, nice watches are bloody expensive, but hey you only live once.

Worst thing is that if I'm wanting to go into the career I think I want to go into, how the hell am I going to feed my quasi-expensive tastes? I'm going to have to come up of ingenious ways of coming up with the cash or the man who will come up with the cash.

( Stuff I'd like in the near future...hmmm )

So uni is finished for good...YAY!!!!!!

But now the job hunting begins. Just had an interview today for an entry level production assistant spot. I felt it was utterly dire. The guy could see through me like glass. I wish I could lie as well as I think I can. I went in with the notion of NOT being over-eager, but I ended up embodying someone who has no fucking backbone and no idea of where she wants to be. But anyway at least one good thing I got out of it was the guy said to me to "Find your truth". Which is probably the best advice anyone has given me in a long time.

So coming back home I'm thinking, going, fuck what is my truth? Where do I want to be 5 years, 10 years down the road? Do I want to be an entertainer, a rockstar, a director, a producer, an actor, a writer, a critic, a chef, a copyright policy maker, a media admin? What the hell do I want to be? In honest truth I want to be every one of those positions, but of course it's just simply not possible.

I think I need to make meself a plan - a 2 year one. And try to stick to it. Sometimes I daydream about some brilliant film/tv/advertising company just calling me up and saying, hey your resume/showreel is awesome, come work for us. Dreams are awesome, I just wish they'd come true in reality.

In 20 years time, I want to be the first female director of a Bond Film. Think I can make it? Start writing to EON in support of me now...hheheh

---

I managed to make it to the 15min mark in Shoot 'Em Up. Dear god, that film is dire. I know it's a parody of action films/comic adaptations. But there are no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Not even the prospect of seeing Clive Owen naked made me want to waste any more precious minutes of my life watching that dross. EURGH!!!!

one more exam to go on Friday,

I'm so ridiculously tired. I've averaged 5 hours of sleep since Sunday night. See when they say advocacy intensive week they never really drummed in how intense it is. Okay it's actually not that intense it's only because I procrastinate and tend not to do the work I'm supposed to when I'm supposed.

Today I had my defended hearing and I shit you not I have never done as abysmally in an non-exam assessment as I did today (okay excluding that painful year 7 book review of The Hatchet which I did in 1 min). 15min in I just wanted the floor to cave in, the problem was that it was going to last for 2 hours. The experience was just painful. But however the good thing is that I know now that I never ever want to become an advocate. Even though I like performing and I don't mind public speaking, speaking whilst solving 5 different problems at the same time is just not for me.

Anyhoo, so I'm getting ridiculously trashtastic on Friday night in celebration of the end of my education.

Life after uni will be uncertain but as I was saying to my mum tonight. These years are going to be the best of my life and I better enjoy every single moment, take my chances and live every day to the fullest. Cause soon enough I'll have commitments like a mortgage and kids etc but right now, no homework, freedom, and menial jobs here I come.

Yes I'm back on the Bond obsession Bandwagon again. I love all my dormant obsessions. I will be forever entertained by them.

Anyhoo, I went to see Quantum again, yesterday with the family. The Projector broke 15 min in, dropping the sound for about 5min and then they couldn't rewind the film. Suffice to say my family was a little lost with the plot. But we got refunds which is good.

Whilst procrastinating last night I was watching The World Is Not Enough and 3/4 of the way through the film I was almost comatose with boredom and paying more attention to reading Bond forums. My have the years been unkind to this film. I saw TWINE 3 times in the cinemas when it came out in 1999, I thought it was the best film since Goldeneye and I loved it. My, how my tastes have changed in the past decade.

After I shut off TWINE I slipped Casino Royale back in. Man I have such a newfound appreciation of CR now. Where TWINE was laughably unintellionally funny, CR was intentionally funny, where TWINE was dull, CR was gripping. CR is definetly a better, more fun and ultimately more interesting film to watch, even if it's like 25min longer, it felt shorter in the end.

Watching CR also made me understand QOS better and I was thinking, damn, if they put both films together as one long movie, that would be the most kickarse bond film ever in the history of mankind. Cause in the long run CR and QOS balance each other's flaws very very well.

The funny thing is, I actually find Die Another Die more entertaining than TWINE now. Hmmmm

Oh and as much as I love Pierce Brosnan (I mean this guy was my definitive Bond during my childhood)...

Daniel Craig > Pierce Brosnan anyday

Also DC = Steve McQueen Y/N ?



---

I'm about to embark on my last week of assessments for uni. Hope I pass, but if I don't I'm not going back anyway, thankfully this last subject has no bearing on my actual degree just whether I can be admitted as a solicitor or not. So yeah fuck it, I'll continue watching more Bond as procrastination.

Dear Mr Forster,

Thank you muchly for the following:

- Putting Daniel Craig in White pants and giving us many many shots of his nicely proportioned posterior.
- including a gay evil henchman who like operas with a "simple jack" toupee
- providing homoeroticism subtext between Bond and Felix Leiter.

---

( Review of Quantum of Solace ) 

---

Overall I like this film very much and as a student of film it offers me probably more to chew on, think about than people who don't care as much. And therefore I think if you're expecting something that emulates old Bond or even a similar follow up to CR, you might be dissappointed. QOS is Bond transcending Bond, and if you take that into the cinema you're going to have a great time.

There is an ethereal raw beauty about this film and I think it's a film that you have to emotionally connect with the flow and style of the film and feel the art, not necessarily engage as much on an intellectual level. And I'm not saying that QOS doesn't work on an intellectual level. The overall consistency of the film, sound, score, visuals, story, performances etc, There wasn't anything that overly grated me and there is always something that grates me in a Bond film, delivery of a line, a shot etc.  This consistency elevates QOS to levels a normal action film or rather most Bond films can't attain. I felt this film and I think I will find more depth than perhaps in CR, it's definitely more intriguing compared to when I first saw CR. However I'm definetly going to have to see it again.

But one thing is for sure...Bond is still the coolest and most badass secret agent around

so the shit end of the semester is nearly over, which means more posts about my thoughts on the world YAY, or nay.

Last night I went to the screening of my creative techniques project which was interesting and fun in the very masochistic way in which filmmakers have fun. It is also the first time I've had a project screened since 1st year uni. So quite a long time and it was also probably the last time I would have a personal project screened in the near future, so it was bittersweet in a way.

( long biatches, like insanely, read at your peril )

- Guitar hero World Tour

- Quantum of Solace

- finishing Uni FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....and not having a job

currently my film is killing me, I have 3 days to finish it and lay it to DVD for the screening, and I still have 30sec which I haven't started compiling. Some Stats on my project...

Length: 3min 30sec
Space taken up on my harddrive: 360 gigs
Days spent working on it: Countless
Hours spent cursing After Effects: Many
Hours worshipping Magic Bullet Looks and resisting the urge to make love to it: 195

so I got my 16mm footage telecined on Tuesday, the process was good albeit expensive at $425 altogether, then split between 4 people, and that was student rates as well. Worst thing was I managed to be a stupid shit and not check the parking signs outside. Cause I was thinking, yeah Artarmon, middle of nowhere, industrial town, must be free parking. Alas, I parked in a 2P ticket zone and copped a $81 fine. Even better:

- Across the road was 10P...no ticket...go figure
- I got the ticket at 11:02 and I came out at 11:08
- I didn't realise I even got the ticket until 4pm in the afternoon when I took the car out again because the fucker of a ranger put the docket (which looks like a shopping docket) horizontally underneath the wipers.

Seriously the economy is in the shits and local councils still continue with this fuckery, did they invest too much in CDOs?. But hey I can't complain it was my own fault, but also quite a bit of bad luck.

Anyhoo, footage looked good and I've been playing around with it with Magic Bullet Looks, finding a nice grade and everything. Boy MB rocks my world, usually i hate colour grading because it's so painstaking, but MB makes it so enjoyable. So the following is the original still from my 16mm footage (slightly underexposed), and after is the one tweaked with MB and photoshop.

( original image )

( tweaked )

I almost licked my computer screen.